Ode to my Dead Furnace

Oh furnace... how I loved thee... when the home inspector came five years ago and saw you for the first time... he said you were only five years old... he lied he lied... cause five years later I found out you were 16 years old... you died you died... the repairman came and said that he couldn't fix you... I cried I cried... then he said a new furnace would cost 4,000 dollars... I died I died... then I told him to get the fuck out of my house before I skull fucked him with a baseball bat... he cried he cried... and as I went through all five stages of grief in about fifteen minutes... I pause to remember thee as you once were... noisy and full of hot air... Rest in Peace old friend... I prefer to remember the good times... Good bye good bye.

I hate people who service your home appliances; because, they know they have you right by the fucking nut sack. I shelled out 129.00 bucks just for the fucktard who showed up to look at my furnace to open the door and say "Yep, its busted."

So here we go again... another pristine example of how god hates me. Why can't furnaces break in the summer... oh no they have to blow up when its 20 below zero outside and unless you wanna freeze to death you have to shell out an exorbitant amount of money to have it fixed or replaced. Well not me by god... apparently they never got the memo that I'm an asshole and I have my hatred of all living beings to keep me warm. Well... that and a couple of small electric heaters, an electric fireplace, and the fact that my house is all of about 900 square feet and all one story with no basement or upstairs.

So no worries folks me and the wifey are all good. Its about 65 in here right now and I just turned the electric heaters on. So some of my blog posts will be about my trials and tribulations of getting my furnace fixed... which won't be for a while.

In Memorium of FatJoey PC's furnace... if there is a heaven for dead furnaces... I hope that your burning in hell. Fuck you. Love FatJoey... Later.